33 Things To NEVER Say on a First Date
So you got her to say yes to a first date and you want to impress her. Sometimes the best way to impress her is to know when to shut your mouth.
No, really. There’s no quicker way to bomb that first date than to say the wrong thing. Some things make you seem like a show off, others make you come across like you only want to score. And there’s a few things that, if you say them, will only make her think you’re a jerk.
To steer you in a positive direction, here’s 33 things to NEVER say on a first date.
1) They know me so well here that they know what I drink. It’s OK to drink in moderation on a first date, but you want to limit it and not say anything that makes you come across like a drunk. That’s especially true if your first date is at a bar. You don’t want to give her the impression that – if you date – that is where she’ll find you.
2) I believe in women being equal, so can we split this tab? Chivalry still reigns supreme for women. Open the door for her, pull out her chair for her and above all pay the tab. You don’t want to come across as cheap. Also, leave those buy one order get one free coupons at home.
3) Nice rack or boobs. It’s OK to tell a woman how beautiful she looks or that you like what she’s wearing, but just don’t go there. Not only is it a crude thing to say, but it’s sending a signal that you’re more interested in getting her to bed than in finding out anything else about her.
4) Are you going to eat that? Such a remark can come across as critical and makes you seem controlling. If you have a specific reason to suggest not ordering something, like you’ve tried it and think it’s awful, explain it. Otherwise don’t judge her choices.
5) I Googled you and I see you like to have fun! Just downright creepy. Even if you do stalk her online, don’t tell her. You also don’t want to give her the impression that you’re judgmental.
6) I conducted a background check but couldn’t find you. Can I get your Social Security number? Even more creepy and it makes you sound paranoid. If there’s anything telling you that you’re going out with the wrong woman, follow your gut.
7) Damn, that chick is hot. Definitely a line to kill the date on the spot. Focus your attention totally on your date and let her believe she’s the most beautiful woman in the world. Don’t even look in another woman’s way, much less announce that you are.
8) Do you like anal? The first date definitely isn’t the time to peruse her sex habits. It makes you sound crude and risks cutting off any chance for a second date much less a sexual encounter.
9) I have to check in with my parole officer. I will be right back. Announcing you’ve got a criminal record likely isn’t the best opener on a first date. Even if it’s not for something serious, you’ll come across as public enemy number one.
10) When’s the last time you had sex? Just don’t go there. Mentioning sex on a first date makes you sound sex crazed, and it could be taken the wrong way. You don’t know her dating history or, if she hasn’t had sex for awhile, why. Don’t chance opening any old wounds.
11) Damn girl, you look like you work out. If you think she’s physically fit, there’s better ways to tell her – and without eyeballing her up and down. Don’t give her the impression that you’re only looking at what you want to work out on her.
12) I’d really love to meet a woman who makes more money than me. Don’t be a gold digger. Such a line makes you sound not generous and risks making your date think you’re after her money more than her. You may as well announce you live in your parents’ basement.
13) Do you have any Italian in you? Would you like some? Don’t come across like a jackass. Sexual propositions aren’t the best on a first date, and it’s not the place to try out your humor – especially if it sucks.
14) I’m Catholic and don’t believe in divorce, but I don’t see my wife much anymore. No woman’s going to want that kind of drama, especially the first time you go out. It’s a corner in a love triangle that she isn’t going to want to be.
15) Can we go somewhere else? My ex is here and I’m technically not supposed to be within 100 feet of her. Her likely next question is going to be why, and your best explanation isn’t going to make her stop thinking your ex had the right idea – especially if there’s a history of domestic violence or stalking in your past.
16) I’m in between jobs right now. No matter how handsome you may be, letting a woman know you aren’t economically stable isn’t the wisest move you can make. If a woman is impressed and thinking you’re a great catch, giving her an idea you can’t keep a job may stall that impression cold. Besides, why are you then dating? Get your shit in order first!
17) I washed and waxed my Corvette and my boat today! No one wants a show off, and if she does it may be a sign she’s after your money more than anything else. Don’t say anything that will make you come across as flashy.
18) My therapist says I’m really doing much better nowadays. Definitely too much drama to let out on a first date. She isn’t going to want to be your shrink and think she’s just doomed to hear your problems.
19) Want to come back to my place and jump in the hot tub? That’s definitely another way to let her know you want to score rather than get to know her. It may also make her wonder just what kind of woman you think she is. Even if you think she’s interested in some after-date fun, there’s better ways of finding out than that.
20) OMG I love you so much already. Let’s get married! Say that and OMG she’s going to run like hell. Let things happen naturally no matter how great she may be. A first date is a time to get to know each other, not to plot out your happily ever after fantasies.
21) Here’s my list of food allergies and what I’m looking for in a perfect mate. I figured I’d print them off for you. Keep what you’re after to yourself and see if she meets those demands. It’s a first date, not a marriage proposal. There’s plenty of time to see if she’s the one.
22) How much do you make a year? Again, it makes it sound like you’re after money more than her. Don’t sound like a gold digger, and avoid questions that could make it seem like you’re judging her. There’s numerous reasons someone may not make as much as they’d like.
23) I would take you back to my place but I’m having a new cabinet (or anything else) installed. Even if it’s true, she’s going to think there’s another reason you don’t want to take her there. At the least, she’ll be afraid your place is a mess. At the most, she’ll think you’re cheating on your wife.
24) Wow, your friend is really hot. A line like that will lead you to sitting alone at a table in no time. A woman wants to hear how she’s hot, not her friend. Even if your next line is how hot she is, her look at you is going to be nothing but cold.
25) Sorry I’m late. My ex picked up my son an hour late and she was drunk again. DRAMA ALERT. She doesn’t want to hear it and she doesn’t want to be in the middle of it, so just zip that mouth and don’t say a word about it. Try to eliminate the drama from your life (Otherwise you will attract Drama-filled people).
26) Can I interest you in some life insurance? A first date definitely isn’t the place to make a sale. Also, mentioning life insurance just falls into that creepy area again. Is there any reason she should question whether she needs to be thinking about life insurance?
27) You remind me of my mother. Even if your mother’s the most wonderful woman in the world, no woman’s going to want to be compared to her – especially on a first date. She’s either going to think you have a mommy complex or cross you off as a psychopath. Either one’s going to stop cold any chance of a second date.
28) I love collecting guns and going hunting. Not everyone loves to hunt, and your date may not be that impressed that you shot Bambi’s cousin last weekend. Plus if she’s thinking about going home with you, your announcement that there are guns and knives there will likely give her second thoughts and some chills down her spine as well.
29) My ex is just a loser. Be positive and make a great first impression. Don’t say anything that’s going to make your date wonder what you’ll think of her if things don’t work out.
30) My boss just doesn’t get me. Don’t leave her with the impression you’re a slacker or you blame things on anyone but you. Even if your struggles with your workplace aren’t your fault, a first date isn’t the time for workplace negativity. Again, keep it positive – or simply say you’re hunting for something better.
31) When was the last time you were checked for STD’s? Good that you want to be safe but for heaven’s sake, not on the first date. Take your time and get to know her for a few dates before you jump into the personal health questions.
32) You’re pretty, why are you still single? Chances are we don’t want to just settle to be in a relationship. Be glad we are picky but picked you.
33) Are those real? Guess what, you probably won’t find out either. Again, don’t focus on anything sexual. And don’t be rude.
In my years of dating I have come across many ridiculous questions so I have comprised a “Book of AWESOME Questions” to ask when on dates. For a FREE copy go to http://wp.me/P6wMN0-GP
P.S. I have also teamed up with Justin Stenstrom, nationally acclaimed life coach, author, entrepreneur, and speaker. He is the founder of EliteManMagazine.com … His mission is to provide men with the best tools and the following is a list of 40 of the best first date tips ever assembled—from some of the greatest dating coaches, relationship coaches, matchmakers, lifestyle coaches, and social experts on the planet! Take their tips and their advice and really soak them in. Many of these professionals have been helping men just like you for years and years; so believe in what they say.
Follow their steps, and your next first date will go great! And yes, it may be your last first date.