From Dating Disasters to Happy Relationship

From Dating Disasters to Happy Relationship

I had a woman asked me recently, “How did you go from dating disasters to a happy relationship?”

The easy answer is, I manifested him!

NO LIE!

I manifested him in the exact time that I predicted.

I’ll get to the manifesting in a few but first…

I had to realize some serious and painful things about me!

Lots of failed relationships.
Troubled childhood.
Some drinking… some binge eating.
A battle with some anxiety and a little depression.
Failed career attempts.
Working in a dead end job.

I had to ask myself, “What the HELL am I doing with my life??”

I was almost 40!

My life had become unmanageable and miserable even though I appeared to be having fun and happy.

APPEARED TO BE…

I NEEDED RADICAL CHANGE!

I became a hermit for about a year.

Hired a life coach.

Started to meditate.

Changed my diet.

Ditched most of my friends.

Took some personal growth classes.

And started feeling at peace.

So the short version of this story is, a couple years later, I decided to take this certification class on something called Time Line Therapy so I could better help my clients heal from the past and find great love.

Well in my class we got to practice on each other and I decided one of my goals was that I wanted to basically create the perfect man for me. Picture the movie, “Weird Science”.

So using this technique I had just learned, my class partner and I did TLT goal setting with the intention that I meet my perfect mate in 30 days.

I got really serious about the core values that I was looking for and I put this man into my time line in 30 days from that date.

Well it was about 5 weeks later that I met Chris on Tinder.

YES… I said Tinder!

Go ahead and laugh but I always tell my clients, “There are good people everywhere when you are open minded and ready!”

So fast forward, at the time of this writing, it’s been almost 2 years since that day!

He is pretty much everything I asked for.

Our relationship has its ups and downs. We have been through a TON together.
But we are happy.

I will say this…

Relationships are not for the faint of heart.
They take the conscious effort of 2 people.
Do the work to heal from the past as much as you can before getting into a relationship.
Hire a coach or mentor to help you with the healing and manifesting.
Have fun with the process, don’t take it all personal.

Wanting help with manifesting your ideal mate?

Let’s have a conversation about what that might look like for you.

Click Here < 

Much love to you!

Leslie XO

Are these two fears holding you back from finding love?

Are these two fears holding you back from finding love?

Honey, Let’s face it… Who doesn’t have FEARS about relationships? Even if you think you are open to Love, you may have experienced these 2 fears at some point in time.

Fear 1 – The Fear of Abandonment

Relationships are risky. It means opening up your heart and being vulnerable to heartbreak!

Most can’t bare the thought of another “failed” relationship. This fear keeps us safe with HUGE barriers! If you have experienced any of these actions within yourself or others then YES, it’s an abandonment fear:

1. Not calling when you said you would
2. Still “playing the field” and keeping your options open
3. Dating or talking to several people at once
4. Picking fights for no good reason
5. Not saying what’s on your mind
6. Making up stories in your head about the possible doom

Fear 2 – Fear of Losing Yourself for The Relationship

Many men (but even some women) have this fear of being smoothered and losing their identity. Having to give up who they are for the sake of being “A Couple”. Many stories of the ball & chain send people running because being single is EASY.

Relationships take work and patience but the right relationship can be so rewarding!

You can FREE yourself from the fears that keep a relationship at bay!

Most people genuinely want to be in a relationship but they fear being left or losing themselves.
No wonder so many are having relationship challenges!

I have been there! I have played the field, picked the senseless fights, didn’t call that great guy back…

All because I was AFRAID!

I overcame these challenges and now….

Happy middle-aged couple outdoors on beautiful autumn day

 

 

 

 

It’s YOUR turn!

When you decide to explore our work together, I will go over much more about fear and how it’s running your love life. You’ll also learn:

  • How to attract, not just any partner, but the one who is truly right for you
  • Why you haven’t felt appreciated in your past relationships, and how to encourage a partner to enjoy all that you are
  • How to be truly ready to receive a genuine, loving relationship
  • Why you don’t need to settle for a mediocre relationship
  • The truth about commitment and what you need to do now if you want to have a lasting relationship

There’s no need to fear being abandoned – or being smoothered in a relationship. When you’re finally in the right relationship, you’ll know what it’s like to feel completely at ease. You’ll be able to feel a close connection with your partner, while maintaining your own individuality – honoring yourself and each other.

I’m looking forward to being your guide along the way. Schedule FREE consultation today. Start here

I wish for you an abundant life full of Love, Peace, Happiness!

All my Love,
Leslie

And please share with anyone you know who may be struggling in Love!

Want to Learn more about what I do? Click HERE

 

Please check us out on Facebook where I get a little more personal.
https://www.facebook.com/LeslieZiembaCoaching 
843-900-1182

Leslie Ziemba – Certified Matchmaker, Law of Attraction Practitioner and Dating Consultant!

TESTIMONIALS:

Master these 3 Steps to Healing Any Relationship!

Master these 3 Steps to Healing Any Relationship!

How many times have you ended one relationship, only to find yourself experiencing the same things in another relationship?

If we don’t clean up and do the healing on the garbage that we are experiencing, we will usually keep experiencing the same results.

I wanted to share this amazing article from Nanice Ellis. 3 Steps to healing any relationship!

http://wakeup-world.com/2015/02/18/3-steps-to-healing-any-relationship/

attachment-heart-in-hands-12-13

Do you have a relationship that you would like to heal?

I want you to MASTER these steps to heal any relationship you are in.

“I want to share my secret for healing any relationship. I offer this advice as a seasoned relationship coach and someone who has personally healed her own relationships. The best part about this 3-step process is that you do it on your own. You do not need the other person to actively participate. It is all you.

In order to heal any relationship it is first important to understand the dynamics behind relationship issues. Relationship issues don’t occur because two people are different or they do not agree. People do not need to agree, or be similar, in order to get along great. Issues occur because one or both people are practicing judgment. It is judgment that causes all the issues in relationships. Without judgment, relationships thrive and when you release judgment, relationships heal.

Why is judgment so detrimental to relationships?  When we feel judged, it invokes a feeling of rejection, so we either close down or we judge in return, in order to protect ourselves. Either reaction causes distance and discord.

When we are the ones who judge, we push the other person away, regardless of our justification for judgment. It does not matter if you feel you have a right to judge or that you really do know better, judgment is the best way to alienate a friend, lover, partner, parent, co-worker or child.

Even if we call our judgment by the name of love and caring, it is still judgment and it will always do the opposite of what we intended. If you want to lose someone, judge them.

You cannot love someone and judge them at the same time.

Releasing your judgment for another will help to heal the relationship, but it is not the whole story. There is a little trick to this healing process. If you follow this 3 step process below, you have the power to heal any relationship.

Step 1. Heal Self-Judgment

The entire world is a reflection of your conscious and subconscious beliefs. Therefore, if someone is judging you, his or her judgment must be a reflection of your own self-judgment. You cannot expect another to stop judging you, when you are judging yourself. The key is to identify how the other is judging you and then look inside yourself to see how you are judging yourself in a similar way. It might not be the exact same judgment but try to focus-in on the connection. Once you clearly make this identification, it is time to consciously release your self-judgment.

You do not need to share this with anyone. This process is something that you do privately. You will know when you are successful in releasing self-judgment because the other person will also reflect this by being more accepting of you. If he or she continues to judge you, go back inside and clear out any remains of self-judgment.

Step 2. Heal Your Judgment About the Other Person

How are you judging your friend, spouse, parent or child? Remember, do not confuse caring with judgment. Caring is not judgment. No matter what is going on in his or her life, you have no right to judge. You might want to make a list of all the ways in which you are judging this person and one by one, give up your judgments. Maybe even look to see how you are judging yourself in the same way and release those judgments, as well.

The fact is, no matter how wise you might be or how well you know this person, you do not know what is best for him or her.

If you care about someone and you want to help, the best you can do is to support her, in listening to her own heart, and by encouraging her to ask herself the right questions, so that she can make empowered choices. If you are insightful, you might even offer a question that will allow her to find her own clarity.

Don’t give advice unless asked and even then be careful that it does not contain any elements of judgment. If you judge, you alienate and if you alienate, you blow your chance for making a difference.

If you really want to be a positive influence, be a great example. Stay in integrity with your own beliefs and model this behavior but do not try to preach or meddle – because another will experience this as judgment and your message will fail to have the impact that you desire.

This article is about healing adult relationships, but even small children react negatively to judgment and positively to encouragement. You can be a more empowered parent without judgment, and you can effectively guide a child of any age without the punitive force of judgment.

Step 3. See the Other Person as Perfect and Whole

Make a list of all the things that you love about him or her. Focus only on these things every day. Do not give your attention to the things that you do not like or the problems at hand. Only focus on what you love about this person – without the issues. I knew that this can be challenging, especially when there are problems between the two of you, but if you can consistently focus on the positive and ignore the negative, before long things will begin to change – it is all up to you.

The other person will change because how you see this person changes. The amazing part is that you never have to say a thing to him or her. You only have to silently focus on the positive. You will be very aware of the changes in this person and in the relationship but he or she may be oblivious to any difference. By mentally and emotionally aligning with the positive aspects of your friend, partner, parent or child, you literally invoke a higher version of the person and a higher version of the relationship.

If you can drop your judgments, rationalizations and justifications, and you can take complete responsibility for the relationship and your experience of the other person, you have the power to not only heal the relationship but to create the best possible relationship that you can imagine.

There was once a woman in a class that I taught – she asked what she should do about her daughter who was so judgmental. My answer was, “Stop judging your daughter.” She said, “No, you don’t understand. It is my daughter who is judgmental – what should I do?” Again, I said, “Stop judging your daughter.” At this point the whole class got it – everyone except this woman. Finally, on the third round, her face went blank and she got it. If you want to change someone, you must be the change you want to see in them.

Judgment can be tricky because often we don’t even know when we are doing it, but we always feel when someone is doing it to us. If someone is reacting negatively to you, stop and look at yourself; where might you be in judgment? Even if you are not verbalizing it, your energy always projects your thoughts and feelings.

Healing Requires Time and Patience

Keep in mind that there is often a time gap between your inner release of judgment (and your mental shift) and the outside world catching up as an accurate reflection. So patience in the process is a good idea.

This means that the other may still be critical of you and show discord – allow him or her their experience and maintain your course. How long you ask? For as long as it takes. Giving it a deadline only makes it take longer and you may not reach your goal. But, if you can stay true to course in both loving yourself and the other, sooner or later a huge transformation will unfold.

At first you may notice less tension between the two of you or an openness that was not there before. Do not jump at the first signs of success. Just keep loving and be appropriately responsive in a positive and encouraging way. Sometimes there are bumps in the road, so don’t react if things are improving and then an issue arises – just stay aligned with this three step process and any issues will begin to smooth out again.

If you stay the course, success is imminent. However, if you go back to your old ways of judging, the relationship will digress as well, and you will be back to where you started. If this should occur, begin again.

This 3 step healing process does not exclude setting boundaries. If someone is judging you, you can say, in a kind and respectful manner, “I’m sorry, you probably did not know this, but no one is allowed to judge me.” When he does judge, you can say, “I’m sorry, I cannot hear you when you are judging me.” This sets a boundary for you and gives the other person important feedback on how to treat you. Make sure that your actions are in integrity with your requests.

This relationship healing process requires great spiritual maturity. In order for it to work you must rid yourself of pride, arrogance and self-righteousness. You must cast blame to the wind and you must take complete responsibility for every relationship. Others do not need to wake up, be responsible, apologize or do anything different. Only you need to shift. You must be the change you want to see in the ones you love.

Any two people in the world can have a great relationship if they surrender judgment and they embrace each other from a space of pure appreciation.

Relationship Affirmation: I love you more than “who I think you should be,” so I am just going to let you be you, and I am going to love you without needing or wanting you to change in anyway.”

And If you are interested about what I can do to help you get a handle on your LOVE LIFE, schedule a complimentary session with me HERE

After working with so many clients to get them clear on ATTRACTING THE ONE, I have put together an AMAZING experience & opportunity for you! 

I’m here to help you FEEL and BE your best! Schedule a FREE Consultation today to FIND THE ONE!
Please, click on the link below to schedule a COMPLIMENTARY Session with me today!

calendly.com/leslieziemba/30min

And please share!

I wish for you an abundant life full of Love, Peace, Happiness!
XO,
Leslie

Please check us out on Facebook where I get a little more personal.
https://www.facebook.com/LeslieZiembaCoaching 

newfontPNG

 

http://www.leslieziemba.com/

OMG, Am I the only One that hates dating?

OMG, Am I the only One that hates dating?

God dating sucks! I’m a dating coach and I hate dating. You know, the:

  • “Why hasn’t he returned my text?”
  • “Geez, this guy is a narcissistic jackass!”
  • “He hasn’t asked me one thing about me the entire date!”
  • “I think I would rather stay home painting my toes than go out with another stranger who asks me, “So what do you like to do for fun?”

Yes, I have those plus a slew of critical thoughts that go through my mind being newly single and out in the dating world.

I get nervous. I get anxious, frustrated, tired of mundain conversation and sometimes I don’t want to be the positive, happy “Love Guru” but I just want to be moody, bitchy and whine to my friends! (thank you, I love you, you know who you are!)

Luckily my best friend is a Life Coach so we often trade sessions! Score (doing a lil happy dance)! 

Dating Disasters leslieziemba.com

 

 

 

Today has been a whiney day for me. My heart can be such mush some days. Of course I never want to let my clients see me less than chipper but lately I am really feeling the need to “BE ME”, more raw, more authentic.

There are many who may not like me and that is ok, this is my journey. I’m not here to impress anyone but to impress upon you that I AM REAL. I swear, I complain (when in my heart I know I shouldn’t), I have my issues, I work on me daily, I have insecurities, I cry often, I fight with God over things I want to happen NOW, I call my friends out on their shit, I have a completely disfunctional family, I get lonely, but sometimes can’t stand being around people, I could go on and on.

My biggest issue or complaint in dating is… “Why does it really matter?”

Why do I care what this guy thinks of me? Let’s use the example of “Why hasn’t he called?” (Hearing all the excuses in my head)…. then I ask myself these questions:

  1. “Is it TRUE?” My thoughts, what reasons I can come up with… “Are They True?”
  2. “Can I absolutely know if this is true or not?” Of course not. I don’t know that he got hit by a bus, that he is out with another girl or that I looked fat.
  3. “How do I react, what happens, when I believe that thought?” Does that thought bring peace or stress into my life? If you are anything like me it’s PURE STRESS…. I make up some of the most random shit in my head! How do you treat yourself and others when you believe these thoughts?
  4. “Who or what are you without this thought?” Are you a more free and loving person without this thought?
  5. “AGAIN, Does it really matter? Will this matter a year from now?”

Most of the stuff we worry about is made up thoughts. We put so much emphasis on what someone else thinks of us and we need to OWN our truth.

We are worthy of incredible LOVE. If someone is not giving it to us, this is not a reflection of US. People are going through their own issues, challenges and are often times not in a place to Love fully. Learn WHY people walk away HERE 

Now grant it, some times you are a train wreck and have lots of personal growth to do. If you need help uncovering your stuff, let me know and we can do some work together but often times, it’s not you, Babe! We live in a society with more “Seekers” than “Givers” it seems.

Keep doing you, get out and meet everyone (you never know, their best friend may be your Soulmate), hang around positive people, be open, smile! 🙂

Hope you have an awesome day, Love! XO

Leslie Z.

 

Interested about what I can do to help you get a handle on the dating scene, schedule a day with me!

I’m here to help you FEEL and BE your best! Schedule a FREE Consultation today to see if Spending a Day or Coaching is a fit for you.
Please, click HERE to schedule a COMPLIMENTARY Session with me today!

And please share!

Please check us out on Facebook where I get a little more personal.
https://www.facebook.com/LeslieZiembaCoaching 
843-900-1182

Leslie Ziemba – Certified Matchmaker, Law of Attraction Practitioner and Dating Consultant!

TESTIMONIALS:
From Rich in South Carolina:
 “Leslie has been a great support during my separation from my wife. I never thought I would be in this position. It is a confusing time. Leslie has offered intelligent direction, loving support, and great feedback on my thoughts and feelings. She does not say what I might want to hear, but professionally and warmly presents ways to handle and cope with my relationship. I have shared laughter and tears. I highly recommend Leslie to anyone who is struggling and who needs support as you rebuild yourself into a stronger person.”

“Leslie is an exceptional transformational life coach…I feel it goes beyond that though. I have seen several life coaches, holistic healers and nothing seemed to touch these deeper wounds I’ve experienced. Leslie exudes warmth, compassion and comfort and subtly helps shift feelings that have felt stagnant and getting right to the point. I felt after one session I received the guidance I’ve been in search for my entire life and am now on the road to true healing…I highly recommend spending a few hours with Leslie as she will help you discover the treasures of being and living your highest truth….beyond what you can think and imagine. She has a fine eye to see past words and guide you to your road of fulfilled healing. I am so blessed to come across a beautiful authentic human being who GENUINELY wants to help!!”
-A.K. in Charleston, SC

Daniel says: “After going through a bad breakup I was left empty inside and in the process lost all of my confidence until I found Leslie Ziemba. After speaking with her I was able to re find my confidence and become the best version of myself and I absolutely can not thank her enough for that. No matter what your issue is I can assure you that she will assist you into making your life as amazing as it can be just like she did for mine. Thank you from the bottom of my heart Leslie.”

150503_00181

 

 

http://www.leslieziemba.com/