Recently I had a debate that pushed A LOT of my patience buttons. One thing I don’t have much patience for being “Closed-Minded” so it was a clear indication for me that I needed to write this struggle down and share.
Have you been struggling with feeling tired with the life you’ve been living? Do you feel like you’ve been searching for this elusive thing they call “Happiness”? Have you searched in churches, multiple careers, multiple relationships, etc and yet you still haven’t found HAPPY?
I’ve been a seeker since I was a child. I was always seeking connection with God. I was always seeking a new car, redecorating my house, new clothes, feeling unsatisfied in my relationships.
When I went through my divorce in 2008 I walked away from my picture-perfect life, my four bedroom house on 2 acres, the husband who had never cheated or abused, but I knew something was still missing from my life.
After walking away from everything I owned, I set out on a journey to find me. Being stripped of all of my possessions, moved into a 2 bedroom apartment in a town 750 miles from everything I knew, on a quest to find HAPPINESS.
After a lot of heartache, which I will spare you because it is all in my upcoming book, “Fearless Love”, I found myself 60% happy with my life. I had made some new friends who encouraged me to seek solitude in FAITH and our church.
I believed in and felt I understood God, the Bible, Christ, love for mankind and helping my community but there was still something missing. I wasn’t looking for 60% happy I was looking for 100% with the occasional 10% slip up where I might fall down the emotional steps of life here and there.
One day I met a woman whose sister was a life coach. “A life coach? What is that?”
She explained it was kind of like counseling but with a more hands-on approach. She helped people to awaken to their life purpose and to help them get unstuck and moving forward in their personal lives, career, relationships etc.
So I thought, “what the heck, I’ve done counseling off and on for years and that was an extremely slow process. I’m somewhat happy because I found some peace and salvation in my church community, I’m a bit miserable in my job but thankful I had one…. Something was still missing.”
Three months of working with this woman completely opened my eyes.
I learned an awful lot about my “Thought Process”, learned about meditation, learned how my thoughts can either make or break everything I want to have in my life.
I learned to have a relationship with God. Like to the point where I could still be me, not feel like I was constantly being judged or a hypocritical sinner, develop skills of being a better person, and have a deeply profound and connected relationship with God.
This completely changed my entire life!
I’ve come to the understanding that “religion” leads us to believe that we have to practically walk on water in order to be considered as “worthy” in the eyes of God. There’s this sense of fear projected by most religious organizations. “Do this or you’ll burn in hell!”
Who are they kidding, hell is right here on earth. We create our own hell.
We have been conditioned and brain washed by people always putting fear into us. There is an accident on the highway, you fear being late to work because you might get fired but throw common sense out the window that you might get into a car accident and die because you were in fear and rushing.
Why are we kept in constant fear?
I was in a bible study group once and really enjoyed the friendships I had formed, the togetherness of the group, the fact that I had shoulders to always cry on and after a few months I began to notice something that made me go, Hmmm…
It was a singles book study and every week we talked about our Woes. Who was sad, who got hurt, who is lonely, why their spouse cheated, why they were JUST SO DOWN.
It was a couple who was leading the group and I noticed that as nice as this couple was to open up their home and lives to strangers, they were also fantastic about keeping everyone dependent on constantly needing salvation. Relying on them for direction. Allowing us to stay in a state of FEAR, lack, and judgment.
Now I’m no Bible scholar but I’ve been a seeker of God since I was six years old, I’ve attended at least 20 churches of different religions over my lifetime, from being raised Catholic to studying with Jehovah’s Witnesses, and for me, organized religion has never been truly fulfilling.
It got me to a place where I felt a sense of comfort but not a sense of completeness.
After lots of research and finding the peace and happiness I had been looking for, I’ve come to understand 2 things:
- Christianity says, “God is out there, separate from us, separate from everything. We come into this life fundamentally flawed solely because we are human and are one wrong move from being cast out for all eternity. This is our one and only chance to prove God we are not the sinful creatures he believes we are in order to win his approval.
- Spirituality says, “All is God and God is in all, energy is the fundamental building block of everything and energy has no beginning and no ending, it flows out from God and out through all things, therefore we (as a soul) have no beginning and no ending and are connected directly to God. Everything, because it is connected to God, is divine.
YOU ARE DIVINE and God loves you because you are an aspect of Him.
YOU ARE THE MEANS TO YOUR SALVATION. Doing the work to be a loving, accepting and contributing person on this earth is your purpose and means to a happy life.
It is only our misunderstanding ignorance and/or lack of self-love that keeps us from truly believing that.
Can you open your desire to understand?
When we learn how to change our thought processes, meditate, practice mindfulness, listen to spiritual leaders like Wayne Dyer, Marianne Williamson, Abraham Hicks, we can learn a new and fulfilling way to be.
I love Psalm 46:10, “Be still and know that I am God.”
It is when we are still, quieting our minds in meditation, slowing down from this crazy paced life, when we can fully be aware of the messages, signs, the knowing that can come to us just like it did to Job or Moses thousands of years before Jesus.
I always tell people, “Prayer is asking God for answers, meditation is quieting the mind long enough to hear the answers.”
Those answers don’t always come in words but if you are open to understanding, you will get the answers.
Now I consider myself to be a Christian, I believe there are great teachings in the bible, I believe in God, I believe in Christ, I believe in the 10 Commandments and the statement “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
But I also know from research that humankind dates back 200,000 years, civilization as we know it is about 6,000 years old, the Bible was published by man (channeled by God) about 400 years ago. It was re-written by men, not with typewriters or fancy machines but by imperfect men who spoke many languages and had to translate many times. Hebrew, Aramaic, Latin, German, etc.
Did you ever play “Whisper Down The Alley” when you were in school? Everyone in the class lines up so you have maybe 20 to 30 kids standing in line. At the front of the line the teacher whispers a message to the first student and it’s probably a small message, maybe five or six words, then that first student has to tell the second one, then the second tells the third, and so on and so forth. By the end of the line there is no way that sentence even resembles what the teacher told the first student.
Are we really too naïve to think that this could not have possibly happened with how many people were involved in the writings and translation or over how many thousands of years this transpired? Some research says there are lost books of the Bible that were never published. I don’t know if it’s really true but it seems logical to me considering part of the Bible was written at least 2,000 BC but only published 400 years ago.
I think it’s safe to say that at some point in time, before the Bible was published, man was following some sort of philosophy, doctrine, higher consciousness direction or feeling, etc.
You have a God given ability inside of you, we all do. You have a 6th sense but it’s really up to you to believe there are things beyond your understanding.
Do you know the story of Moses? What do you think would happen to you today if you walked up to a burning bush and the bush started talking to you? The bush says, “I AM GOD and I want you to go lead My people out of the state you live in.”
If you went to the pastor of your church to tell him this, what do you think they would do to you? Allow you to take your fellow Christians somewhere else? Commit you to a mental hospital? Tell you these are the devil’s tricks and call in the Catholic priest to do an exorcism?
Makes ya wonder! At least it makes me wonder. They didn’t do that to a murderer who lived to be 120 ish years old about 3,400 years ago.
Moses was supposed to be one of the greatest men to walk the earth and I bet you are too!
So I want to leave you with this:
I ask you to open your mind.
Trust that God wants the best for you.
Seek for answers if something feels off or missing.
Know that if we start living from a place of Love instead of a place of fear, you can open your world to so many wonderful possibilities!
HAPPINESS! Do you believe?
If you are reading this, then you want to receive greater clarity about your relationships, CORRECT? Well take some notes!
Most of us assume when we talk about “relationship issues” we are talking about romantic relationships but the primary relationship that is the cornerstone about relationships to anyone and that is the relationship with ourselves.
Have you ever noticed when you have problems in relationships one of the problems was you?
Did you ever get so excited around someone you like that you acted like a total idiot?
You know how sometimes you do really stupid stuff in relationships and then you say to yourself, “Oh my God I can’t believe I did that!”
One of my favorite studies of A Course In Miracles says, “It is not your job to seek for love, it is merely your job to seek the barriers you have against love coming!”
It’s a matter of knowing that we are perfect souls in this world. We don’t need plastic surgery, more money, be a more exciting person, etc… We need to removed barriers, not add more shit!
What are your barriers that are keeping love away? Ask yourself that question…What are they?
Write down what you feel may be holding your back.
Now think of a magnet… A magnet just attracts without going out and seeking things to attract to it.
Having magnetic power will automatically attract what is meant to come to us when we are ready.
The universe is always sending a steady stream of opportunities to you. But often times we screw up those opportunities.
It’s like getting ready to run a marathon. You can’t expect to go out on the day of the race and perform well if you have not been training, practicing and eating healthy before race day. Your body needs to be in good physical shape leading up to that day.
This is why your spiritual practice could not be more important. In order to have success at anything in life we must work on the vehicle (aka ourselves).
You need to build yourself physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally in order to be in successful relationships!
The more centered we are, which involves prayer, mindfulness and meditation, the more we attract positive and like minded people who are moving in the same direction.
Like attracts like!
Step 1 is looking at your junk and understanding why you do the things you do.
Looking at the fact that, as soon as I get close to someone I start becoming judgmental or as soon as I get into a relationship I start finding all these flaws or I keep meeting people who just play games. And here’s the problem… you don’t keep meeting people who play games, you keep giving these people your phone number. Are you feeling a bit desperate?
Step 2 is asking God to take it away.
Simple prayer: Dear God, I feel like such a failure at reaching out to love. Time and time again I have tried to open my heart and combine it with another and each time, it seems, I come up on the frailty and the scars within me. I need Your power to free me and release me. My commitment to separation, to being alone, to conflict overpower my best intention.
I try to build the most beautiful connection, and so many times I fail. Dear God, I surrender to you every idea and every thought I hold about relationships. Transform my thoughts, rearrange my energies. Make me into a person who knows how to love, to get it and to receive it, to honor it and to be in it. Erase my past failures. Make me new. I need a miracle, please! Amen!
Step 3 is starting a spiritual practice that works for you.
Now let’s start with explaining that religion does NOT equal spirituality in my book. You don’t have to go to church to have a spiritual practice. If you can come to the simple understanding that our thoughts and relationship with our own Soul can greatly transformer our lives then that is the beginning of what you need.
My spiritual practice includes a lot of teachings based on the law of attraction, a course in miracles, and mindfulness teachings from leaders all around the world.
I believe in one spiritual practice… LOVE!
Read all the books you can get your hands on, meditate on a daily basis, and try to practice, “do onto others as you would have them do onto you!”
Simple steps but if you would like to learn more, check out another one of my blogs about meditation here or schedule a complimentary session to help get your spiritual practice started. Also remember, it takes 21 days to start a habit or 21 days to break a habit. So when you start your spiritual practice remember that consistency is key. Schedule your “ME TIME” in your planner every day. Meditation and Mindfulness is like working out. When you go to the gym, you are going to receive results in the first couple of weeks but as long as you stay consistent and work at it every day then you will see results… Just stick with it!
Please comment below or share!
Much Love to you! XO
Why I left my job to start my own business.
I started this journey in 2007, running from my 13 year failed marriage and looking for love in all the wrong places.
After many failed relationships, being cheated on, lied to, feeling like every man out there was a piece of crap… I finally realize the common denominator was me and I hired a life coach.
Two years later I was in a pretty normal relationship, working in my corporate job with a decent salary and potential for growth. I was working my butt off and trying to make a name for myself with this newer company. One of our reps was promoted and through the transition of his promotion I let my boss know I WANTED that reps position and he agreed to help me achieve this. So as my boss started piling that reps work onto my desk while relying on me to do both jobs, dragging out the hiring process by 7 months, he hired his best friend instead of me.
Can you say, PISSED OFF! (And guess who got to train the new guy??)
That was my second failed attempt at a promotion and I was left crying and wondering, “WHAT NEXT??”
After I stopped sobbing in the bathroom for 20 minutes I made 2 phone calls, One to my loving boyfriend to cry to him and the next was to that life coach I had worked with two years prior.
That call went like this:
“Hey Bek, you helped me with the relationship stuff and now I need your help to figure out what the hell I want to do with my life and career.”
About 6 weeks into working with my life coach, she called me out of the blue one morning at 8 AM and said, “I was meditating this morning and I have a message for you. Have you ever thought about doing anything with relationships or like starting your own online dating company?”
My reply was, “Did I tell you about the matchmaking company my friend and I started about six years ago?”
Of course her answer was no and I just sat there thinking, “Hmmm, well that’s weird. The Universe is always conspiring to bring us signs and point us in the right direction, was this a sign?”
I had started this “Singles Meetup” thing when I was going through my divorce but after realizing my life was such a mess, I never went through with it. We had the website up and business cards but never really did anything further.
So here I was, several years later and this was coming up again… Why? And coming from my life coaches messages or images while in meditation…. Hmmm.
So I played around with my thoughts for a day or so, called her back and said, “THIS IS MY CALLING!! I went through so much shit in my own relationships to bring me to this place where I can help men and women that have the same daily struggles as I did. I want to be a matchmaker and dating coach, Where do I start?”
So long story short, I got certified and that one certification led to another certification as a law of attraction practitioner and then another certification as a neurolinguistic practitioner… and here we are!
A little over a year later, I left my corporate job. I only had one serious client at the time and I was scared to fucking death.
But I had faith that if this is what I’m supposed to be doing, (the Universe had clearly given me numerous signs after all), I was working 80+ hours a week between my corporate job and building this business, dealing with a lot of negativity around me and also sick all the time from working in an environment with a mold problem that wasn’t being addressed. (Yeah, that’s a whole ‘nother story)
So those were my signs, TAKE THE BIG LEAP. Did I mention I was scared as hell?
So here I am, I’m writing this at Christmas 2015, listing my intentions for the new year and I want to share them with you.
- I want to impact 100 new souls this year. Weather through one on one coaching or my online transformational program that’s about to launch.
- I’m planning a trip to visit my friend Holly in Dallas and looking at expanding my business in the Dallas and Austin area.
- Planning a spiritual retreat in Costa Rica
- Launching my transformational program January 5th – “HACK YOUR LIFE – 6 WEEKS TO REINVENTED”
I will be adding many more items to my list but this is my start…
What do you intend to attract into your life in 2016? Ready for A BIG Leap?
Ask and you SHALL receive!
Would you agree that many of us don’t put a lot of faith and TRUST in God, a Higher Power, The Universe? I mean really TRUST and let go! Trust that the answers you need are waiting for you?
Often times people pray to God only when they want something or need something.
I was dating somebody once and I was kind of unsure about whether or not I should be dating in general or whether or not I should be dating him… A good friend of mine said, “Well have you ask God the question?”
My reply was, “Of course I have an asked the question because I really don’t want the answer”… I want to be in control of my own life, my plan, what I WANT.
It’s hard to surrender to the fact that you can have this grandiose plan in your mind and in your heart but when it’s not working out for you what are your other options?
Seems to me the right answer is SURRENDER. Surrender your own wants, needs, plans… ask God to direct your steps for the highest good of those involved. Now I know it’s not an easy thing to let go of… I am after-all A bit of a control freak myself.
A good friend once said to me, “man makes plans and God laughs.”
And this is so true! So I had that relationship that wasn’t quite working the way I wanted it to. I came home after that time spent with my friend, I lit a candle, sat down and had a little “come to Jesus moment” with my Creator.
My words went something like, “Dear God, I know you have a plan for me and I know that I’m trying to control my own steps. Do you want me to be dating right now?”
After I asked the question, I sat in silence for about 10-15 minutes, closed my eyes and quieted in my mind. The one thought that did come to mind was, “if I don’t hear from him by 6 PM than I have my answer.”
And guess what, at 6:05PM I was sending the “I don’t think we’re good timing” text message.
Now obviously things were not going great with this guy and we had only been dating about a month.
But there it was, my question was answered. It wasn’t an angel came floating from out of nowhere and delivered the message directly to me but it’s a TRUSTING and KNOWING that IF you ASK the questions, you WILL get an answer! And even though I didn’t really like the answer, I knew that I had to surrender and allow God to guide my steps.
So what question are you afraid to ask?
I hope you have a blessed week!
And please share this to your Facebook or anyone you know who may need some guidance!
I wish for you an abundant life full of Love, Peace, Happiness!
In the past, being loving meant letting everyone in the door. Ignoring the big red flags between their actions and their words.
I would think to myself, “well I know he has lied, I know he flirts or talks to other women, but if I just change my thought forms and love him enough he would see how amazing I am and want to change.”
When that scenario obviously didn’t work, it led me to putting this GIANORMOUS wall around my heart.
How do you think that worked for me?
After much soul searching and soul growth, I came to this understanding of a “soul level protection” that is eye opening to say the least.
My Divine path lead me to an understanding of myself and the God-given gifts of LOVE inside of me. It also led me to a story about “guarding your heart” and I just wanted to share this with you.
Protecting your heart so you can keep it wide open. Allowing yourself to be VULNERABLE. (Don’t fear this word)
Keep it soft, let it be tender, feel everything, feel your feelings, share your feelings, keep your heart gentle and open.
And then put a big fucking fence around it. Make it tall and make it strong.
Just ask your angels to guard the gate for you at all times.
Do not let anybody passed your gate unless their own heart is open and gentle. Only let in people who are respectful, kind, loving, honest and have pure intentions.
Imagine this fence around your heart and at this precious gate are your angels that you have commanded to protect your boundaries.
Talk to those angels often, make sure you are specific about who is allowed in. And then go Be You!
I hope you have a blessed week!
And please share!
I wish for you an abundant life full of Love, Peace, Happiness!
Please check us out on Facebook where I get a little more personal.