Recently I had a debate that pushed A LOT of my patience buttons. One thing I don’t have much patience for being “Closed-Minded” so it was a clear indication for me that I needed to write this struggle down and share.
Have you been struggling with feeling tired with the life you’ve been living? Do you feel like you’ve been searching for this elusive thing they call “Happiness”? Have you searched in churches, multiple careers, multiple relationships, etc and yet you still haven’t found HAPPY?
I’ve been a seeker since I was a child. I was always seeking connection with God. I was always seeking a new car, redecorating my house, new clothes, feeling unsatisfied in my relationships.
When I went through my divorce in 2008 I walked away from my picture-perfect life, my four bedroom house on 2 acres, the husband who had never cheated or abused, but I knew something was still missing from my life.
After walking away from everything I owned, I set out on a journey to find me. Being stripped of all of my possessions, moved into a 2 bedroom apartment in a town 750 miles from everything I knew, on a quest to find HAPPINESS.
After a lot of heartache, which I will spare you because it is all in my upcoming book, “Fearless Love”, I found myself 60% happy with my life. I had made some new friends who encouraged me to seek solitude in FAITH and our church.
I believed in and felt I understood God, the Bible, Christ, love for mankind and helping my community but there was still something missing. I wasn’t looking for 60% happy I was looking for 100% with the occasional 10% slip up where I might fall down the emotional steps of life here and there.
One day I met a woman whose sister was a life coach. “A life coach? What is that?”
She explained it was kind of like counseling but with a more hands-on approach. She helped people to awaken to their life purpose and to help them get unstuck and moving forward in their personal lives, career, relationships etc.
So I thought, “what the heck, I’ve done counseling off and on for years and that was an extremely slow process. I’m somewhat happy because I found some peace and salvation in my church community, I’m a bit miserable in my job but thankful I had one…. Something was still missing.”
Three months of working with this woman completely opened my eyes.
I learned an awful lot about my “Thought Process”, learned about meditation, learned how my thoughts can either make or break everything I want to have in my life.
I learned to have a relationship with God. Like to the point where I could still be me, not feel like I was constantly being judged or a hypocritical sinner, develop skills of being a better person, and have a deeply profound and connected relationship with God.
This completely changed my entire life!
I’ve come to the understanding that “religion” leads us to believe that we have to practically walk on water in order to be considered as “worthy” in the eyes of God. There’s this sense of fear projected by most religious organizations. “Do this or you’ll burn in hell!”
Who are they kidding, hell is right here on earth. We create our own hell.
We have been conditioned and brain washed by people always putting fear into us. There is an accident on the highway, you fear being late to work because you might get fired but throw common sense out the window that you might get into a car accident and die because you were in fear and rushing.
Why are we kept in constant fear?
I was in a bible study group once and really enjoyed the friendships I had formed, the togetherness of the group, the fact that I had shoulders to always cry on and after a few months I began to notice something that made me go, Hmmm…
It was a singles book study and every week we talked about our Woes. Who was sad, who got hurt, who is lonely, why their spouse cheated, why they were JUST SO DOWN.
It was a couple who was leading the group and I noticed that as nice as this couple was to open up their home and lives to strangers, they were also fantastic about keeping everyone dependent on constantly needing salvation. Relying on them for direction. Allowing us to stay in a state of FEAR, lack, and judgment.
Now I’m no Bible scholar but I’ve been a seeker of God since I was six years old, I’ve attended at least 20 churches of different religions over my lifetime, from being raised Catholic to studying with Jehovah’s Witnesses, and for me, organized religion has never been truly fulfilling.
It got me to a place where I felt a sense of comfort but not a sense of completeness.
After lots of research and finding the peace and happiness I had been looking for, I’ve come to understand 2 things:
- Christianity says, “God is out there, separate from us, separate from everything. We come into this life fundamentally flawed solely because we are human and are one wrong move from being cast out for all eternity. This is our one and only chance to prove God we are not the sinful creatures he believes we are in order to win his approval.
- Spirituality says, “All is God and God is in all, energy is the fundamental building block of everything and energy has no beginning and no ending, it flows out from God and out through all things, therefore we (as a soul) have no beginning and no ending and are connected directly to God. Everything, because it is connected to God, is divine.
YOU ARE DIVINE and God loves you because you are an aspect of Him.
YOU ARE THE MEANS TO YOUR SALVATION. Doing the work to be a loving, accepting and contributing person on this earth is your purpose and means to a happy life.
It is only our misunderstanding ignorance and/or lack of self-love that keeps us from truly believing that.
Can you open your desire to understand?
When we learn how to change our thought processes, meditate, practice mindfulness, listen to spiritual leaders like Wayne Dyer, Marianne Williamson, Abraham Hicks, we can learn a new and fulfilling way to be.
I love Psalm 46:10, “Be still and know that I am God.”
It is when we are still, quieting our minds in meditation, slowing down from this crazy paced life, when we can fully be aware of the messages, signs, the knowing that can come to us just like it did to Job or Moses thousands of years before Jesus.
I always tell people, “Prayer is asking God for answers, meditation is quieting the mind long enough to hear the answers.”
Those answers don’t always come in words but if you are open to understanding, you will get the answers.
Now I consider myself to be a Christian, I believe there are great teachings in the bible, I believe in God, I believe in Christ, I believe in the 10 Commandments and the statement “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
But I also know from research that humankind dates back 200,000 years, civilization as we know it is about 6,000 years old, the Bible was published by man (channeled by God) about 400 years ago. It was re-written by men, not with typewriters or fancy machines but by imperfect men who spoke many languages and had to translate many times. Hebrew, Aramaic, Latin, German, etc.
Did you ever play “Whisper Down The Alley” when you were in school? Everyone in the class lines up so you have maybe 20 to 30 kids standing in line. At the front of the line the teacher whispers a message to the first student and it’s probably a small message, maybe five or six words, then that first student has to tell the second one, then the second tells the third, and so on and so forth. By the end of the line there is no way that sentence even resembles what the teacher told the first student.
Are we really too naïve to think that this could not have possibly happened with how many people were involved in the writings and translation or over how many thousands of years this transpired? Some research says there are lost books of the Bible that were never published. I don’t know if it’s really true but it seems logical to me considering part of the Bible was written at least 2,000 BC but only published 400 years ago.
I think it’s safe to say that at some point in time, before the Bible was published, man was following some sort of philosophy, doctrine, higher consciousness direction or feeling, etc.
You have a God given ability inside of you, we all do. You have a 6th sense but it’s really up to you to believe there are things beyond your understanding.
Do you know the story of Moses? What do you think would happen to you today if you walked up to a burning bush and the bush started talking to you? The bush says, “I AM GOD and I want you to go lead My people out of the state you live in.”
If you went to the pastor of your church to tell him this, what do you think they would do to you? Allow you to take your fellow Christians somewhere else? Commit you to a mental hospital? Tell you these are the devil’s tricks and call in the Catholic priest to do an exorcism?
Makes ya wonder! At least it makes me wonder. They didn’t do that to a murderer who lived to be 120 ish years old about 3,400 years ago.
Moses was supposed to be one of the greatest men to walk the earth and I bet you are too!
So I want to leave you with this:
I ask you to open your mind.
Trust that God wants the best for you.
Seek for answers if something feels off or missing.
Know that if we start living from a place of Love instead of a place of fear, you can open your world to so many wonderful possibilities!
HAPPINESS! Do you believe?